You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
