Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
honey bunches of taint.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
