I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
