Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i think my cat just said my name.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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