is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Omg I joined a choir last night...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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