If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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