I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
