He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
