theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
