I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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