I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
