the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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