lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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