Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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