So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
