Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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