i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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