i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
