I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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