If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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