He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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