This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
