It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
