Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
