i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
