Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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