I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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