you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
