you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can feel your judgement through the phone
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize