dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
