You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
