I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
