I never want to see another naked old woman again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
