I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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