Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
