You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
