totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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