I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
