Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
