drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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