Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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