Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
