sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize