i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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