Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
