i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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