Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
