I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
