Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
