its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
