you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
