East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
