I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
