anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
