When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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