After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
