She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
