Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
