Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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