we're blogging at a bar
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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