If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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