Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
