What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
